Life used to be so simple

When did life get so complicated? When did everything stop being simple and easy? It’s so different now as we become adults, and even as we become teens; we grow up, and things change almost completely. Tensions grow, anger and hate develop, and things we believed in disappear; hope fades and dreams vanish. We stop thinking about miracles and happiness and fill our lives with stress and difficulties instead. Life used to be so simple, and sometimes, just sometimes, I would give anything to have that time back.

It was easier when the only thing you worried about catching from boys was cooties. There was a simple way to prevent cooties, I mean the regular kind, and that was the cootie shot. I know I’m really showing my ages but I remember “circle circle dot dot, now I have my cootie shot”; I’m quite positive that the cootie shot will not prevent skankcooties, but it was fairly good at keeping us safe when we were kids. It was easier when boys were gross, and kissing was something you didn’t even want to think about. Just touching boys would give you cooties and then you’d have to go through whatever the ritual was for getting rid of them. I remember those days, and while I love my boyfriend there are times when I think things would be easier if boys still had cooties, the regular kind I mean, cause some of them may have skankcooties now.

Life was simpler when cheating meant opening your eyes during hide-n-seek or changing the rules in the game of monopoly.  When we were little kids fights were about who got to be which Power Ranger or Ninja Turtle. Race meant who was fastest, and everyone was equal in our eyes. No one was better than anyone else unless they had the newest and coolest toy, but even that faded. As kids we were mostly color-blind and we all had fun together. The biggest argument was over ‘no tag-backs’ and the most drama was during the lunch trades when you tried to trade your Doritos for someone else’s Cheetohs. Those were good times, so simple and fun. The future was a millian years away back then. Now look at us.

I remember when the worst pain you felt was a skinned knee, and it could be kissed and made better. Life was so much easier when we didn’t know what betrayal and broken hearts were. We believed in magic and hope. We had faith in the world. We were invincible and strong. As little kids we lived by the rules of the playground, our domain. Now there is more to deal with, and now life is so complicated. When did it happen? When did it get so mixed up? How did it happen to us? Didn’t we swear to never grow up?

I don’t think life is any worse now than when we were kids. If anything it is richer, full of experience to teach us wisdom. But I do remember when it was all a lot simpler. I do remember a time before life got so complicated.

Quote of the Day: “When you’re a little kid you’re a bit of everything; Scientist, Philosopher, Artist. Sometimes it seems like growing up is giving these things up one at a time.” -Kevin Arnold, from the Wonder Years (1988-1993)

Parentals in my Social Network

Warning: Opinions may seem offensive to those who spy on their kids by using their blogs and social networking sites.

Ok, so I always get halfway through an entry before I blank out, and this time I’ve got a winner. Today’s entry, long coming, is about parents and social networking sites. Typical college girl thoughts and worries, though I’m not too worried about these things. I know there are others who have concerns and this post has been begging me to type it. So here goes.

Parentals, or the ‘rents as I like to call them, have noticed their kids on social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace. I know there are others, but those two are the two that entered my mind first, mainly because I have accounts on both. You can’t blame them for being curious and somewhat concerned about who their babies are talking to online. There are horror stories about kidnappings, rapes, and attacks. So I can see parents wanting to know about their children’s online habits and wanting to keep track of who they are ‘networking’ with. Safety is a big concern, and I appreciate that. However, there are some limits.

Like I said earlier, I have no problem with parents keeping up with who their kids talk to online, and I think that it is important to talk to your kids about internet safety. But I also think that spying on your kids by joining their social network site is wrong. Joining the site they use to blog in order to read said blog is wrong too. If it is set to friends only or set so the blog can only be read by users on the site, then joining the site to read their blog is essentially like reading their diary. Those entries may be posted online, but they are not posted for you to read. If your kid wanted you to read it then they would have given you the site and told you that you could read it.  That may sound stupid, but deliberately seeking out your child’s blog to spy is wrong.

Joining Facebook or Myspace to see what your kid is doing is wrong as well. If you want to know ask them; if you suspect them of lying, call their bluff. Don’t join and add their friends so that you can look at pictures and see what they are up to. It’s creepy. You shouldn’t be stalking your kids online to find out about them, you should be talking to them face to face about it. I know for certain that I would be freaked out if I found my mother had joined Myspace or Facebook and was checking up on me, not that there is much to see, but still. Honestly when I discovered that one of my family members was looking at my Myspace page I made it private for a while. It became public again when she lost interest. it’s my place on the web to talk, and therefore I want you to stop using it to spy.

I’m not saying older generations can’t be on Myspace and Facebook, especially as Facebook has become so open; I’m just saying stop being a spy. Feel free to create a profile and stuff, have fun with it, but don’t stalk your kids. Be an adult and ask them about things. Talk to your kids about what they are doing, who they talk to online, and call their bluff on their lies. If you think you son is drinking, ask him, don’t jump on Facebook or Myspace and hunt down pictures of him drinking. If you think your daughter is sneaking out, then confront her, don’t wait until the day after and check her websites to see if she talked about it and did it. If you have an interest in your son or daughter’s life and plans, talk to them, don’t read their blog. Be an adult and don’t spy.

So that’s my blog for the night. Like it or not, those were my opinions on the subject at hand. Lucky is now signing off.

Quote of the Day: “The hardest part of life
Is to live while you’re alive my friend
So sing an unwritten song
Or repent for the deeds you left undone”
-Here and Now, by Great Big Sea

Hark, Lucky speaks…

Ok, so I’m a terrible about this blogging thing. I hate that I never update as frequently as I would like to. Every time I decide to update something happens, and I fail to do it. Part of it is that I don’t like to post short pointless blurbs because a stupid part of me wants to give my, probably non-existent, readers something with substance. So here is a somewhat rambling and somewhat cohesive attempt at updating. I promise that I will try to update more frequently. That way you won’t think I have fallen off the face of the planet in some sort of bizarre accident.

Spoony and I saw Forbidden Kingdom at the theater, and it was a really awesome movie. I’m a total freak who fails at being a girl, but I love movies like that; I’ve always loved action and fantasy and I’m not really ashamed of it. That was the last date we’ve had, much to my disappointment, and we didn’t even get to see each other on our aniversary. He got me a gift certificate to get a mani/pedi as a present, and I’ve yet to be able to use it. He said he chose that gift because, and it’s true, I always complain about not being enough of a girl for him. He said it was a girly gift; he’s such a sweetheart. I don’t know how a guy I love so much can be so frustrating. Spoony works constantly, to the point of allowing himself to actually become sick from the exhaustion. And yet he won’t stop. He works full time already and is trying to get a second job, part time. I still don’t get why he needs it, even though he has told me his reason. Part of the reason I’m so upset is that I’m worried; I’m terrified of the phone call saying he’s managed to work himself into a hospital bed. And the other part is at least on some level selfish. I will never get to see him. I know what happens when he works like that. He never has anytime off, and that leaves us on the very farthest back burner. I can be patient, but patient shouldn’t mean never seeing him. This will be just as difficult as the distance, if not worse. Wish me luck.

Next on the list of things that I wanted to blab about tonight is something any American reader who drives can understand. What the hell is up with the gas prices these days. And don’t leave me comments on how it is all Bush’s fault. This is not a political post, nor is the focus of this blurb politics. It’s more economics than anything. It’s unethical and dishonorable to price gouge, and when a family has to choose between food/medicine and gas to go to work to buy more gas, there is something seriously wrong. I propose a significant fine on the major oil companies for every month their price is unreasonably high. These prices mena everything else is just as expensive. Studies have shown that the reason my gallon of milk costs me nearly five dollars is that my gallon of gas costs nearly four dollars if not more. This is why I refuse to do corporate law. I will not being some corporation’s hired gun to help them steal from the everyday people in this world. I do have a sense of ethics even if I want to be a lawyer.

I feel old lately. I mean I’ll be 21 in September, which means I’m not really old , but seriously, things have made me feel practically ancient. Songs come on the radio, and I remember when the song first came out, back when I was in grade school. I remember when gas was a $1.25 instead on $3.75, which by the way  made me feel like my grandmother because she always talks about gas being even less than that. Every time I think about things that become cool again, I remember when they were cool and I was in grade school. Like my kid brother was making hornets, and I was like ”Kid, I was making them, shooting them, and getting hornet ’stings’ way back when.” I then proceeded to unfold and trash them all because I remembered when kids got suspended for them.  Hornets, for those of you who don’t know, are pieces of paper, folded tightly, and are made so they are small but thick projectile weapons to be shot using rubberbands.

And finally, perhaps I won’t make such a bad wife after all. I manage this house pretty damn well, and I’m just the daughter. I practically play mother to all three other people in this house. I make sure there is food cook, laundry done. It’s me who makes the shopping list, who makes sure that everyone gets the things they need. I can cook, and I love to cook. I can handle the laundry and the dishes all while working on a paper or sorting out my kid brother’s homework problems. I’m hopelessly in love with Spoony, and we connect so well. I’m becoming in tune to his needs, emotions, etc. I’m not saying I’ll be susy homemaker, but I will be a good wife. If I can manage the stress.

Chivalry appears to have died… but who killed it?

Currently Listening to: Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey
Currently Reading: Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce
Current Projects: Plotting Summer Adventures
Current Countdowns: None

Wow, it’s been a little longer than I mean to it to be since I posted an entry. Apologies, apologies, for I meant to be a bit more dedicated to the blogging. But anyway, it’s time for another slightly snarky entry about the world around me.

So the title of this post may lead you to believe that this will be a rant against men, who fail to be chivalrous, but that would be a bad assumption. Because I usually don’t find fault in one gender without locating the fault in the other gender as well, unless it’s really only one gender’s fault in the first place. In this case fault lies in both men and women and that is why there is a question at the end of the title. Clearly chivalry is not totally dead, but it is not totally alive either; I’d just like to throw that out there before someone jumps me immediately screaming that they open doors for their girlfriend or screaming their man is a total gentleman. I’ll admit that Spoony is a gentleman and attempts to treat me like a lady when I let him, though I sometimes rebel.

So what evidence do I have for the claim that chivalry has died? Well first of all, a girl can be loaded down with books and barely able to open a door, and no one will offer to help her. She can take a tumble headed down the steps and ten guys will walk by and laugh at her instead of helping her up. There can be only one empty seat in the computer lab and to get to it you’d have to navigate through the huge mass of people seated at the other computers, but not one guy will move more than an inch or two to let a girl through. Rarely will a guy help a girl out unless he is her boyfriend or close friend, and it’s sad to say but this is not totally the guy’s fault.

We women wish to be independent, and we constantly remind men that we can take care of ourselves. When doors are opened for us, we tend to remark that we could’ve done it ourselves, and we don’t want to be treated as weaker because of our gender. I catch myself informing Spoony that “I’m a big girl, I can open my own doors and everything”, even though I appreciate the gesture. We have a horrible habit of confusing men. What I mean is that men afraid that if they open a door or offer to carry something they will get shouted at and called sexist. Because women don’t want their doors opened for them because they are so independent. But they also don’t want to seem rude by not doing the gentlemanly thing and offering to help. Men are caught between a rock and a hard place, and we women put them there.

But it’s not all the fault of women. The male population gets sometimes lazy and only helps out when there might be something in it for them. Case in point. I did an experiment on campus and to be honest I wasn’t surprised at my results. For the first half of the day I wore a skirt. Not just any skirt, mind you. This skirt was a very short plaid school girl skirt, and I wore it with a black tank top and flip flops. Needless to say I was showing a reasonably large amount of skin. During that half of the day, guys rushed to open the door for me and offered to carry my bag because “it looked heavy.” I appeared very, very feminine, and very showy, and that got me help. The rest of the day I exchanged the skirt for jeans. The male response was that I didn’t receive any help what so ever. At lunch I struggled to carry my bag, my purse, my notebook that didn’t fit in the bag, my lunch and my drink, but guys just kept going about their daily lives as oif they could not see me, even when I had to push my way through them to get to the door. I appeared less feminine and I suppose more independent, and that got me no help. This little experiment only accounts for the male population on my campus, but it was interesting none the less.

In conclusion, chivalry is dying and everyone is killing it, men and women. Who is more responsible? You tell me.

A Letter to Me at several stages in my life

Currently Listening to: Letter to Me by Brad Paisley 
Currently Reading: Night Mare by Piers Anthony
Current Projects: ConLaw Term Paper, ChildLit Research Paper, Plotting Summer Adventures
Current Countdowns: 24 days until 3rd Anniversary; 26 days till finals begin

Ok before I start this post let me encourage you to read other posts in this blog. While many of my posts stand alone, those happen to be my snarky commentaries on society and the world around me. Posts about my life are less stand alone since to understand one fully is difficult if you take it out of context.

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Dear Lucky at age 16-17,

I know this may be strange but hey, it’s you at 20. In case you don’t believe me, look in your bag. There will be a black and white composition book called the Rant Book, which holds all your hurt and angry thoughts, and you have a thing for a guy people call Spoony. Yeah only you and I would know that at this point. So listen up, cause this might help you through a lot.

I know things seem a little dark, and you feel lost. That damn Rant Book is full of tear-stained and ink covered pages, and you think that things will never get better, but babe, just have a little faith. That guy you crush on so badly… he’s going to fall in love with you, just give it time. You won’t have to stress about prom, he’ll take you. Papa may have died, but he’s still in your heart. His death will give you a driving force that will propel you forward with the hopes of punishing doctors who screw up people’s lives because they don’t pay attention. Take a deep breath and calm down, don’t do anything crazy. Stop hitting the wall and look around. You have to carry on and be strong. It will be better if you do. Also things are going to be rough for awhile. Pa is gone and Nanny needs you, and you won’t be able to count on your cousin anymore. She’s not what you thought. There will be a lot of tears and anger, but you’ll get by, and it will make you stronger. And when Spoony leaves you confused, just be patient. He’ll be back and he will clear it all up, I promise. And remember, you are beautiful, no matter what they say or what you look like. You may feel ugly and fat, but you have to believe that you are beautiful because if you don’t then no one else will. Love yourself. Don’t think about starving yourself to be pretty, it’s not going to make you happy.

Trust me, I know. LUCKY

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Dear Lucky at 18-19,

Never thought you’d make it this far did you? Well you have, and you are a very strong and brave girl for making it. I know you’re going through some scary things right now, like Wallis-san’s death and doubts about your relationship and fear about law school. It’s all going to be ok. There’s this place, you’ll find it when you least expect it, called DLS, and you won’t believe it will change your life. But it will save you because the people there are amazing and they care. You’ll finally see that you aren’t alone, and you don’t have to be scared. There are a lot of cool friends you’ll meet who share your feelings and secrets.

You and Spoony will make it, in fact things will be a lot better, just be patient, I know it’s hard, but be calm and breathe. He’s going to come home, and he’ll visit twice before that, and it will be amazing. He loves you, and he’ll be there when you least expect it. But don’t get so complacent because it will not be a cake walk all the time. Keep posting in DLS and talking, don’t bottle it all up and explode. And for heaven’s sake talk to him, he deserves to know what’s going on.

Oh and by the way… when you go to the beach with J, try to enjoy it. It won’t be the best thing in the world, but it will be time away from home and sort of relaxing. And don’t spend your whole vacation stressing over that stupid picture, it’s nothing. And don’t worry about your body in that swim suit… it’s not that big of a deal. I know you want to be thinner and fitter, but stress only makes you fatter. Wear a bit more sunscreen, especially on your face. Don’t underestimate the sun or overestimate your skin’s tolerance.

Stop stressing about your body and your weight. It’s going to work out and you’ll feel better. It will not be easy, but if you calm down maybe you’ll come up with some kind of strategy for getting rid of those pounds. Look in the mirror and see the real you, the beautiful young woman behind the stress. Get some sleep for a change. Just because you are in college doesn’t mean sleep is not a necessity. Eat better and do try not to get readdicted to caffiene. Take the long way home from mock the day the teams are reformed… cause if you don’t you’ll roll the blazer and you’ll be without a car. Study for those exams and pay more attention in that Political Status of Women class, that professor is more of a bitch than you thought.

Don’t forget to live, trust me I know this stuff. LUCKY