When it’s raining you won’t find me complainin’

This is Wash and the new frog, Bo; frogs have sort of become our thing.

I’m terrified, dear readers, and I kind of like it. I find myself in a place I didn’t think I’d ever be again; I find myself feeling a way I didn’t think would ever happen again, and I love it, the feeling. So why am I scared? Because I am the one with all the experience; I’ve been around the block a time or two, and I know how the game is played. I’ve felt this way before, though its always brand new, which is to say that I feel the way I do about Wash for entirely new reasons. For once I have to be the guide, and I am terribly afraid that I really don’t know what I am doing. I want to do what’s right, and sometimes I’m not sure what right is anymore, on the relationship front I mean. Sometimes I wonder if I am giving him the right advice or leading him in the right direction, though all I can do is pray that I am doing this right. I have a feeling that this is going to be  bumpy ride, but its a ride I really want to be on. I really like this one, and I really want it to last. I happen to adore him.

Yesterday we spent the day goofing off. We took a trip to the Parthenon, which is a pretty cool place considering its a replica of the real thing. I couldn’t believe Wash had never been inside the Parthenon, and it was a lot of fun to do something like that together. We really wanted to go to the zoo or something, mainly because we wanted to do something different that we don’t normally do. But it was cold and rainy, and it sleeted, so we wound up just doing little of nothing. It was still a lot of fun; of course spending time with Wash is always fun. I bought him another frog, see the picture, because since he got me a frog for V-day frogs have become our thing.  After the Parthenon we stopped at this awesome little cupcake shop and Wash bought these huge cupcakes, which were awesome, then we did lunch at a place called Dalts, where we talked a while swapping stories. Eventually we wound up driving out to the lake, even though it was cold out there, and hung out there for about an hour or so. For something random and spur of the moment it was actually romantic, regardless of the temperature outside. When it gets warmer we are so going to do that again, only instead of only wandering out of the car for brief moments before hiding again, we’ll walk along the lake or something. He thinks he fails at romanticism, but he’s actually pretty good. He’s best at it when he isn’t consciously planning it.

I really like the way things are going; I’m wearing his class ring, even though it may seem a little cliche, and Wednesday night I went to church with him, something I could not have ever done with Spoony. It wasn’t so bad actually, and I guess that’s a good sign. I’m getting attached, very much so, and I’m not fighting it anymore. I’m letting go of my fears, or trying to, and I’m opening up to feelings that I shut myself away from to keep myself safe. You see I know now that if I want to be there for Wash, and I want to make this work, then I have to let myself feel. He tells me that its all new to him, and I know how that feels. The first time you experience real passion can be scary, and I’m a passionate person; I’ve always been. I’m attracted to passion, and I find it rather sexy. I’ve learned to channel my passion, and I love to express it in all my actions. Like I said earlier, I really like where things are going with Wash, and I want to be able to share my passion with him. I also want this to last; I really do.  And I’ve been through this before, so I know what can happen when you rush, when you jump ahead too far in a passionate race. I’m a little resistant to rushing these days, just because I don’t want things to pan out poorly again. I’m falling for him, dear readers, and I don’t want to screw it up. I just hope that he understands that; I hope he doesn’t think that because I want to take things a bit slow I don’t want to move forward. I do want to move forward; I definitely want to move forward, but I don’t want to rush forward and stumble and ruin it all. I’m looking forward to the future, and I hope that he is too; I think that may be why, even though he just left again after stopping by, I miss him again and would rather be kissing him than sitting on my couch and blogging. Yes, my dear readers, Zoe is head over heels.

Quote of the Day: When I think about rain
I think about singing
When I think about singing
It’s a heavenly tune
When I think about heaven then
I think about angels
When I think about angels
I think about you – “When I Think About Angels” by Jamie O’Neal