Stepping Over the Line, Mock Trial Style

So I wasn’t going to do a follow up entry on the tournament because to be quite honest there wasn’t much to talk about. We had some crazy judges, I thought we still did rather well, clearly I was wrong. Our scores were very poor. I’m very disappointed, and as the captain and senior mocker with the most experience many people look to me to find out what went wrong. The truth is I’m not exactly sure, and I will be up tonight reviewing ballots in between reading C.S. Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters and whatever other weekend homework I’ve got. I’ve got an idea or two about what went wrong, but I can’t be sure until I spend some time looking at the ballots. I do gladly take on the responsibility of being captain and being the one who has to buckle down and do the work. I’ve got the experience and I need to use it. Coaches come to me, other mockers come to me, and I’m barely staying sane. But I’m managing, as I always have. However, it is completely unfair to blame me for the team’s failings and to expect me to bear most of the load on my shoulders.

That brings me to the reason I’m doing this blog when I’ve already mentioned that I hadn’t planned on it. Last night Team Shagnasty had a scrimmage, like we do every Thursday night, and the Vilator, a coach, was the judge. All rounds that include the Vilator as judge involve not continuing straight through the round because he will without fail interrupt you and make comments during your directs, crosses, and closings, and generally that makes the round last forever. Also, the Vilator plays favorites, which is common and I’m used to it, and has little tact, which I am also used to. So Shagnasty was the defense and that meant that I directed the last witness, BNN President Kit Berkshire, and then closed. Vilator interrupts the Berkshire direct to rag on K about her British accent, which except for this crazy bitchy judge in round 1 all the other judges like. This would not have been a problem if that hadn’t sparked into a tirade about how our team was a waste to send to tournaments because we suck and basically implying that it was all my fault. Way inappropriate, embarrassing, and hurtful. I will not lie, it really got to me.

Now, I suppose you are wondering why I would be upset over this, since I am an adult and an experienced mocker who is used to criticism like this. Well here is why. First of all, it is terribly heartbreaking to be a captain who’s team comes out of a tournament with a record as bad as we did. It really upset me that we did that poorly, so to be constantly reminded of this is painful. It is also out of line to say that the team is a waste. It’s fucking October, the team was brand new with about four weeks of real practice and only two of us had ever been to a tournament. No one is on their A game this early, ever. He compared us to Mal’s team, which is ok because they did well, but to highlight that Mal’s team was up top while we were at the very bottom, and to do it so rudely, was inappropriate. Mal’s team is stacked, they have 4 returners who went to Nationals. The final blow of the night was when the Vilator looks directly at me and says this “It’s not fun to lose, is it?” Thus once more highlighting our failings openly and rudely in front of everyone, including Cornflake’s little sister, a guest. To me, that is stepping over the line, and I honestly am very pissed off about it.

So that is my mock trial entry, one I didn’t intend to write.

Quote of the Day: “The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there.” J.P. Hartley, The Go Between