You’ve got it all wrong…

“A southern girl is a girl who knows full and well that she can open a door for herself, but prefers for the gentleman to do it because it demonstrates a sense of respect. We know how to make sweet tea and grits while telling you everything about any football team in the SEC. We pick our battles and fight with the heart of a pit-bull while still maintaining grace and elegance. Our mystique is that of a soft-spoken, mild-mannered southern belle who could direct an army, loves her momma and will always be daddy’s little girl. “

“Southern girls are God’s gift to the entire male population. There is absolutely no woman finer than one raised below the Mason-Dixon line. Once you go Southern, may the good Lord help you, you never go back.” – Kenny Chesney

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OK so normally I don’t get offended by things; I’m pretty thick skinned, and things don’t bother me that much. But something has been nagging at me for quite sometime now, and I’m going to just throw it out there for you to take it as you please.

We have an image problem, women of the south and women of the country lifestyle. It’s one that creates an asinine view of us and it really should stop. Since when has every woman born in the south and raised in the country been a slut who wears skirts and shorts so short her ass hangs out and bottle blond hair with dark nasty roots showing? Since when have women like us been complete idiots who wear very little and walk around with dazed looks on our faces? Since when have we been anything like the image that is portrayed? Does our accent make us stupid? And why do we let it continue? Do we really think it makes us sexy and attractive to be that image?

I know I sound like a total feminazi, but allow me to explain. I was born and raised in the south, in the country, and I resent the implication that, because of my birthplace and home, I am a stupid slut. I am a college student working on a prelaw degree, and I don’t feel the need to dress like a slut to get attention. I’ve got my brains and attitude for that. Don’t get me wrong, I have been known to dress in shorts that are rather short, a tank top, flip flops, and my hair in pigtails, but only at home where no one sees me. I’ve had my hair highlighted light blond and the roots did show faintly, but I’m also a natural strawberry blond and my roots weren’t bad. I speak with a strong accent, making mock trial difficult at times, but I’m not a complete idiot.

The aforementioned image is perpetuated by the media and those unwilling to change it. Whether it be several country artists, and yes I know Kenny Chesney sings country music but he is an exception, or Jessica Simpson’s portrayal of Daisy Duke, who wasn’t an idiot in the original show, movies and music make the image worse. Unless you are willing to go find out for yourself, what you see there is all you know about the southern country woman. And then there are the people unwilling to do anything about it. Why are you so convinced that it’s sexy to be a stupid slut and dress the part that has been set up for you? Do you think it gets you respect? Guess what… it doesn’t.

A southern girl knows that it is more than the way you dress and the accent you have, to be truly southern is a way of life an attitude that only the southern belle can master. We can make and serve sweet tea and fry chicken, while telling you all about the current NASCAR race or sports game on TV. We can yell and scream at games and races and turn around and meet your family with grace and charm. We can kill with a smile and calm with a touch, and we can wear pearls with jeans and boots and make it look elegant. We carry ourselves with pride and sincerity and know when and how to pick our battles. We will stand beside you and fight like wildcats; we will defend you when you are right and tell you when you’re wrong. We are strong like the wind and delicate like the magnolia.

My point is, to quote my dear Spoony, “the allure of the south is its marvelous ladies who are graceful, elegant, and hospitable, while at the same time strong, smart, and exciting. It is the ladies who draw us south, and they are the reason we stay.” We are not stupid sluts, and we should not allow the media and world to view us that way.

So I didn’t wake up this morning…

because I didn’t sleep last night. But that’s not all this entry is about. This is just a random stream of thought kind of entry in which I will throw out my updates, small rants, and such.

Odd, these people don’t have normal names.
By now you’ve probably noticed that almost no one in this blog has a normal name. That’s because, as they say on TV and stuff, names have been changed to protect the innocent and the not so innocent. Almost everyone mentioned in this blog has a nickname or edited version of their name instead of their real name, including me, because I don’t want to reveal my identity or my friends identities to a bunch of strangers. Besides its much more fun to post using nicknames and stuff. Only those with names that are nondescript or have no nicknames yet have their normal names.

Learn to live in a world where the ends don’t meet, and you’ll do fine.
OK so Spoony is in VA, and I’m TN. Why do people, like me, wait for someone who is in another state? Does it make sense? Is it the most sensible and normal move? Probably not. I’ve actually had people tell me that what I’m doing is crazy,that it makes no sense.To which I respond “Why does it have to?” Why do people constantly worry about what makes sense. There are lots of things in life that and that is the beauty of it. Take love for instance. Life doesn’t have to make sense, and neither does love. According to Keats the purpose of an education is to learn to live in a world where the ends don’t meet. Which I totally agree with. Thank you Clyde, my Law and the Legal System professor, who does not want to be called Dr. Willis, and his Rules Thirteen.

“She only smokes when she drinks; she only drinks now and then, now and then when she’s tired of being let down by men.”
So yeah, this is sort of part of that not sleeping thing. I love Spoony a great deal, but sometimes the guy can really drive me crazy. Our one year anniversary is next Thursday, and I don’t even know if he will be here in TN to celebrate it. If that wasn’t bad enough he and I can’t really talk other than email, and he rarely checks his email. It’s one of his quirks, which I love him for; he is forgetful, and in order to survive he works a lot. He’s always been like that, and I understand that, doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother me sometimes. Spoony is not a phone person really, or an email/aim person, never has been; he, like me, prefers face to face communication, but we can’t do that right now. So sometimes he lets me down, a lot, and it makes me really upset.

You have no idea how much I need this.
What I need is a mock trial party, which could involve orange vodka and coke and several games such as Ring of Fire, Circle of Death, and Never Have I Ever but doesn’t have to. I need to kick back, relax, and have a good time, and some of the best times I’ve had have been hanging out at Mock Trial parties. Whether it is coming up with alternate case theory, the Tyler Perry case was great for this and so is the the current one, or the poker games, maybe its the fact that it is the one place where we all laugh and enjoy our time together. There nothing more fun than hanging out with J-son, Ry, Nik, Logan, Nat, and the rest of them. Bonding happens not in the rounds, but outside them when we are all together as one team not just 660 and 661.

Some people get on my nerves, and I want to do serious damage to them
Does that make me a bad person? If so, well… so be it. First of all, don’t complain if you aren’t willing to step up and do something about it. People whine about all sorts of things and when it comes down to the line won’t step up and fight their own battles. Then of course there are those people who talk about things they know nothing about and act like they are the authority on the subject. That’s like when people start bitching and moaning about things AMTA does at tournaments, and they weren’t in the round in question and have no idea what went on in making the decision. Its stupid. And I’m not even going into the subject of somethings in current events because that could get way too ugly.

More Advice From the College Girl

I am a second semester sophomore in college and shall definitely be a junior next year. This gives me a great deal of insight into the world that is college, so I decided to pass on some of my knowledge all you college freshmen as well as those of you soon to be college freshmen. Well any college student might be able to benefit from this entry. So here are some notes, lessons, and hints about college that I’ve learned in the past two years.

• Live life. College is amazing, you meet people from everywhere. Don’t let class get in your way when it comes to living life. By all means, go to parties, stay up late with friends, spend too much time on aim and other instant messagers instead of working. Enjoy college life for all its worth because the experiences are once in a life time. You don’t get a redo on the party you missed last weekend.
• Get on Facebook. It’s addicting and fun. You will meet people in classes that you’ll want to stay in touch with, but the bad thing is you may not be able to have another class with them. Facebook lets you keep up with people even if you don’t get to see them all the time. It’s a great way to stay in touch with new friends and find new people. Join groups, post notes, share pictures.
• Go to class once in a while. Don’t let life get in the way of getting your degree either. I know that the first note said don’t let class get in the way of life, but you do still have to get an education at some point. Attend class, study if need be, and learn something. The good thing is that you meet people who will be able to help you in classes and help you survive.
• Get involved. Find something you enjoy and get into it. For me it’s Mock Trial, for you it may be sports or going Greek. Whatever it is just do it. Meet people, hang out, enjoy life. It gives you a way to both relax and meet people. You’ll find something you’re good at and find friends who share interests.
• Register early. When you register for classes do it as soon as possible. Otherwise you’ll have issues getting classes you want and need.
• Visit Rate My Professor. Check out professors before you take their class. It’s a sometimes helpful way to find out about their teaching styles, grading styles, and much more. Just find your school then the professor. But take everything here with a grain of salt cause not everyone rates fairly or honestly.
• Be a camera whore/picture junkie. Everything happens fast in life, and college is no different. There are things you’ll want to remember for a long time. Take pictures and save them because somethings will only happen once and when they’re gone, they’re gone. But photos last a lifetime, provided you don’t discover they are of thing you wish you could forget and burn them.
• Don’t lose yourself. Sometimes you get wrapped up in the college life and forget who you are. Don’t let it happen. College will change you. Let college help you find out who you really are instead of losing yourself. Don’t let people tell you who you should be and get convinced to do things that you don’t want to do and will regret. It should happen like that.

And so I confess

This is very loosely based on my feelings and how I dealt with telling Spoony I was in love with him. However this is not exactly how it happened or what I said because Lucky is in no way as eloquent in her life as she is in her writing. Let’s put it this way. This is what I wanted to say.

She has just kissed him, without warning and spontaneously. He stands in shock, staring at her with an expression that reads what the hell just happened here. A blush on her cheeks and stammering, she explains her actions and tells him just what’s going on, slowly getting stronger as she goes.
Ok… so that was sudden. You always kissed me; I didn’t kiss you. But this was different, I had to. I’m sorry… wait… no I’m not. I’ve wanted to do that for so long it’s unreal, and I’m not sorry I did. You may be, but I’m not. You see, you’ve been driving me crazy for a year and a half. Sitting there, unreachable, daring me to do something about the way I feel, silently and subtly, but still. It’s like this. I spent the first of this mess telling myself to stop, telling myself that you’d just hurt me and it wasn’t worth it. But that failed. I pushed you away, and I pushed hard. Or at least I tried to anyway. And when I couldn’t, well I sort of fell apart. I knew I couldn’t have you, that I could never be with you. It was a simple reality. I’d tried flirting; I’d tried everything and nothing worked. You didn’t even notice. It drove me nuts, and then you left. You moved and left me here alone with no answers and a broken heart.

It was you who raised the questions, with the flowers and the bears and the hugs and damn it the kisses. The simple kisses that left me confused. What were you? Who were you? What were we? Were we friends? Were a friend who I could kiss and get away with it? How did you feel about me? Did you think of me as a friend or more? Why? Why were you kissing me? Why were you letting me get so close?  Did you know how I felt? Did you care? What was I? You went to another state, miles away and left me with all these questions floating in my head. Do you realize what that’s like? To feel like the person you are supposed to be with is that far away, when you feel empty and alone. To feel like you’ll never be with them, and hoping they are happy anyway. Do you know how hard it is to live like that, day after day?

Girls like me are a dime a dozen. I’m nothing, just a simple country girl from the south. I’m nothing special. I’m not the most beautiful flower in the garden; I’m the simple daisy next to the rose. All I have is my mind. I’m smart, not pretty; I waited too long in the line for smarts and missed out on the looks department. I’m replaceable. You can find another like me if you just look. But you are special. No one else in the world can make me feel like this. You make me feel alive; you make me feel special, like I’m more than just one of the guys, more than just a regular country girl. I know you probably don’t want to hear this, and I know I’m probably just freaking you out. But I have to say it, before it eats me alive.

What I’m trying to say… how do I say this without freaking you out? Why is this so damn hard? I love you. I’ve fallen in love with you, and it’s scaring me to death. I tried to stop. I tried to tell myself not to; I tried… but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help it. Somewhere between the moment I met you and the moment I watched you drive away from me into the night; I realized I loved you. But it was too late. You were gone and there was nothing I could do about it. Until now. And I have to tell you, cause its killing me. I can’t take it anymore. If it means that I’m about lose one of the best friends I have so be it. I guess it’s better that you know I feel this way and walk away, then for me to keep hiding in the dark. If you want to walk away that’s alright, just go. But walk away know this one thing: I love you, and I always will.

Something more for my readers to read

Lucky is a writer by nature and loves to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. If you are interested in reading some of her writing visit her blog devoted solely to her bursts of creativity. That blog can be found here at The Dublin Diaries.